[HAPPY NATTESNFEST ADRIAN, your Secret Santa this year is none other than Sonic the Hedgehog!!
.... wait who?
Eh. Doesn't matter.
Sonic's gift to Adiran is a thick and enormous sherpa blanket (literally, this thing could cover a King sized bed with room with spare!) and a bundle of mosquito netting. There's also a long, handwritten note inside of a store-bought Nattensfest card.]
"Hello Adrian aka pyro, I heard from Maya you live in a tree house. That's a terrible idea but whatever floats your boat I guess. I got you this blanket because its super warm and I bet it gets drafty up in a tree. I also got this bug netting cause the bugs are real bad here in the summer, and if you have blood, they will try and take all of it from you.
Though this would not be a problem if you did not live in a tree. Why live in a tree??? The ground is right there!! A hole in the ground is warm in the winter and cool in the summer. You can block off the door and NO ONE (except maybe worms and moles) could ever hope to find you!!! You can steal electricity from nearby houses!! It will NEVER BURN DOWN because there's nothing TO burn and you will never have to worry about getting struck by lightning, ever.
In fact, here's a list of all the reasons why an underground house is better than a tree house."
[true to his word, Sonic includes a whole LIST of reasons... most of them are about as dumb as the aforementioned "you will never get struck by lightning" factoid, though. There's also drawings. Lots and lots of drawings and diagrams of burrow-homes and their amenities. Not incredibly convincing, but his heart is in it -- probably the first time his heart has been in something in months.]
"I hope this makes you reconsider your choice of living arrangements. You should ask a pooka or a troll to help you out when you are ready to move.
Stay warm, and hopefully one day death will come for us all without the Fog god messing it up,
[Adrian isn't expecting anything from anyone, really. Even though somebody had signed him up for Secret Santa, it never actually occurred to him that he'd be getting a gift in return. And, honestly...? The blanket is really nice. It's thoughtful, and it covers even more space than his futon/bed/etc situation needs, so he can literally just throw the entire thing across where he sleeps and be fine. It's going to make his cat brain extremely happy.
The mosquito net is...fine. He doesn't quite even realize what it's for at first, though...not until he's reading the letter.
He really should just accept the gift like a normal person and ignore the parts of the letter that rub him the wrong way, but...he does not have anyone here right now to be his subconcious telling him no, so!!
Adrian's gonna figure out Sonic's handle (thanks to Maya) and Sonic will be getting a message from good ol' pyro himself...]
listen im a manticore a cat have you ever met a cat that lives in a hole in the ground???? no i didnt think so i moved from my apartment cause my old roommate bailed on me and i figured id be happier with my own place anyway and i was correct i lived in a treehouse i built myself for five years so i think i know what im doin when it comes to livin in trees also did you maybe consider i liked it? maybe i dont like livin in holes cause ive been livin in a cave in a desert for the last three years? and guess what its demoralizin maybe id have liked it better back then if i wasnt forced into it (this is the part where id underline this whole sentence if i could figure out how to do that on this damn keyboard)
anyway thanks for the blanket and shit thats not a bad gift actually but like idk maybe consider that i built the treehouse on purpose like yea it aint a house but its mine and its all i got now
ps
wouldnt a hole in the ground get flooded like immediately
oh i figured you were either a cat or a bird monster to live in a tree.
dude i dont want your life story i was just telling you that holes are better than plants dont come at me like this. caves are great???? its not demoralizing its comfy and climate controlled
but ok sure whatevs your welcome youll definitely wanna put the nets around your sleeping area then cause those bugs are gonna be like MMM THAT ADRIAN HE BE LOOKIN LIKE A SNACC
ps
no thats why you dig a DEEPER part of the hole for the wter to drain into
i am coming at you cause you started it how would u feel if i rolled up to your hole like hey your hole fucking sucks heres ten ways your hole sucks and my treehouse is better do u see where im going with this
ok first of all, RUDE. AGAIN. I was saying "hovel-hole" from YOUR perspective about my preferred living space. I have no idea if your treehouse is a hovel, I have never seen it. It might be very nice. But it's still in a tree!!
and second if you don't want those presents I'll take them back!! and then you can find out how many mosquitos it takes to drain all your blood
third good luck you'd have to catch me if you wanna kick my ass
yea get used to that bein rude is my trademark we gonna have to agree to disagree cause i like my tree and you like your hole and we both hate holes and trees apparently and nah theyre mine now i already said thanks and everything the transaction has been completed
[r u d e]
you sayin i CANT catch you cause you aint the first to roll up to me sayin i cant do somethin that i definitely ended up doin after the fact
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SECRET SANTA
.... wait who?
Eh. Doesn't matter.
Sonic's gift to Adiran is a thick and enormous sherpa blanket (literally, this thing could cover a King sized bed with room with spare!) and a bundle of mosquito netting. There's also a long, handwritten note inside of a store-bought Nattensfest card.]
"Hello Adrian aka pyro,
I heard from Maya you live in a tree house. That's a terrible idea but whatever floats your boat I guess. I got you this blanket because its super warm and I bet it gets drafty up in a tree. I also got this bug netting cause the bugs are real bad here in the summer, and if you have blood, they will try and take all of it from you.
Though this would not be a problem if you did not live in a tree. Why live in a tree??? The ground is right there!! A hole in the ground is warm in the winter and cool in the summer. You can block off the door and NO ONE (except maybe worms and moles) could ever hope to find you!!! You can steal electricity from nearby houses!! It will NEVER BURN DOWN because there's nothing TO burn and you will never have to worry about getting struck by lightning, ever.
In fact, here's a list of all the reasons why an underground house is better than a tree house."
[true to his word, Sonic includes a whole LIST of reasons... most of them are about as dumb as the aforementioned "you will never get struck by lightning" factoid, though. There's also drawings. Lots and lots of drawings and diagrams of burrow-homes and their amenities. Not incredibly convincing, but his heart is in it -- probably the first time his heart has been in something in months.]
"I hope this makes you reconsider your choice of living arrangements. You should ask a pooka or a troll to help you out when you are ready to move.
Stay warm, and hopefully one day death will come for us all without the Fog god messing it up,
Sonic."
[well. it was ALMOST normal.]
<pyro> I'm so sorry
The mosquito net is...fine. He doesn't quite even realize what it's for at first, though...not until he's reading the letter.
He really should just accept the gift like a normal person and ignore the parts of the letter that rub him the wrong way, but...he does not have anyone here right now to be his subconcious telling him no, so!!
Adrian's gonna figure out Sonic's handle (thanks to Maya) and Sonic will be getting a message from good ol' pyro himself...]
listen
im a manticore
a cat
have you ever met a cat that lives in a hole in the ground????
no i didnt think so
i moved from my apartment cause my old roommate bailed on me and i figured id be happier with my own place anyway and i was correct
i lived in a treehouse i built myself for five years so i think i know what im doin when it comes to livin in trees
also did you maybe consider i liked it? maybe i dont like livin in holes cause ive been livin in a cave in a desert for the last three years?
and guess what
its demoralizin
maybe id have liked it better back then if i wasnt forced into it (this is the part where id underline this whole sentence if i could figure out how to do that on this damn keyboard)
anyway
thanks for the blanket and shit thats not a bad gift actually
but like idk maybe consider that i built the treehouse on purpose like yea it aint a house but its mine and its all i got now
ps
wouldnt a hole in the ground get flooded like immediately
<sth> never apologize for greatness
dude i dont want your life story i was just telling you that holes are better than plants dont come at me like this. caves are great???? its not demoralizing its comfy and climate controlled
but ok sure whatevs your welcome youll definitely wanna put the nets around your sleeping area then cause those bugs are gonna be like MMM THAT ADRIAN HE BE LOOKIN LIKE A SNACC
ps
no thats why you dig a DEEPER part of the hole for the wter to drain into
<pyro>
how would u feel if i rolled up to your hole like hey
your hole fucking sucks
heres ten ways your hole sucks and my treehouse is better
do u see where im going with this
[That is DEFINITELY exaggerating but, you know]
<sth>
do you also come bearing gifts that make my horrible little hovel-hole a more tolerable place (in your opinion) or are you just bringing me sass
<pyro>
also its not a horrible little hovel im going to kick your ass??
<sth>
and second if you don't want those presents I'll take them back!! and then you can find out how many mosquitos it takes to drain all your blood
third good luck you'd have to catch me if you wanna kick my ass
<pyro>
we gonna have to agree to disagree cause i like my tree and you like your hole and we both hate holes and trees apparently
and nah theyre mine now i already said thanks and everything the transaction has been completed
[r u d e]
you sayin i CANT catch you cause you aint the first to roll up to me sayin i cant do somethin that i definitely ended up doin after the fact
<sth>
you don't know me
but my name is sonic
and it's not because im loud
(but i AM loud)
<pyro>
<sth>
it means im fast
as fast as sound!!
WHICH GOES REAL FAST!
<pyro>
im psure thats physically impossible dude
<sth>
the speed of sound is 200 mph look it up
[it... is not]
<pyro>
<sth>
<pyro>
show me one of these days and ill believe you
<sth>
<pyro>
we'll see if you can put your money where your mouth is
<sth>