[That is what it means, Adrian, yes. Rosso's not going to say anything, simply deciding he's going to stick his arms in the sleeves of this huge-ass coat before the wind steals it from his shoulders after all.
God. He's tiny.]
...this way, idiot.
[Stop walking in the wrong direction and let's go.
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the walk is uneventful. Almost boring, even, but perhaps he should be grateful considering how busy the city is at most other times.
Naturally, though, new restaurants mean it's a hotspot for people. The line isn't out the door, but a lot of those who are being made to wait for a table are sitting outside and braving the cold — monsters that can, anyway. There's a naga curled up in the far corner of the waiting area, bundled up, and Rosso feels sort of bad for them. Imagine contending with this shitty weather while being a snake.
Since they'll be waiting a bit, Rosso makes himself comfortable in the corner, dragging Adrian along with him. Even from the waiting area, the entire restaurant smells divine — there's a light scent of lemon and ginger wafting in the air, mixing in with whatever incense they have burning at the front. An indoor fountain, small but impossible to miss, sparkles in the orange light. Distant, soft music plays over the radio in the background of conversations held.
Rosso swears he sees a fancy, paper chandelier up ahead in the main dining area.
"Boujee" indeed. It's a miracle the windows aren't made of stained-glass.]
[As they make it to the restaurant, Adrian feels immediately, immensely out of place. Like, wow, these kinds of places are not built with people like him in mind. He could have easily gone his whole life never even getting a whiff of a place this fancy. All he can think of is how does Rosso think he can afford it?? Then again, it's not like Adrian even knows where he works...he might have multiple jobs for all he knows. Meanwhile here he is still just barely scraping by. Not miserably so, but. You know. He's not rich.
He allows himself to be dragged along, quiet mostly because he's still marveling at the fanciness of the place, and also feeling horrendously underdressed. Like, holy shit. But at least they're far from the only monsters here, so that's something he guesses. Even if he's made painfully aware of his size when they're sitting down waiting, since both Rosso and the others waiting around him are just...so much smaller than he is.]
Dude. This place is a step above "boujee", don'tcha think?
[Adrian mutters to him out of the corner of his mouth.]
[It's so crowded that they're close enough to touch, thigh-to-thigh, Rosso pretty much buried against Adrian's side. He's still got this big-ass coat on, with absolutely zero room to take it off unless he wants to elbow the waldgeist next to him.
So. Sitting here... not-snuggling it is.]
Ain't like I ever walked into it. Just looked in the windows and saw it was fancy.
[Do not worry about Rosso's wallet, he's figured out how to save money real good, okay. Maybe it's a little out of his price point but it'll be fine, it's not like he can't just work extra, or pick up a shift at another place. Hell, he could work here, even. He just likes Sparkling's place too much to leave.]
I told you not to worry about it, so don't. Just chill out and have fun for once in your life.
[Totally not a date at all. Nope. The thought never once crossed Adrian's mind as they sit here in the fanciest restaurant he's ever set foot in, squashed together as they wait for a table to open up, with Rosso leaning against him in a way that's actually quite nice and warm...
At least he's not a Manticore right now. A crocodile can be as stoic and stone-faced as it damn well pleases, but a lion? He'd be flicking his tail and purring against his will, otherwise. A feat, given that lions and tigers don't even purr.
Anyway. Here they sit and wait. Adrian stays as still as he can, at least until a Minotaur of all things chooses to take what very little space there is on the long bench beside him. Minotaurs, as is their wont, are fucking huge, meaning that Adrian is immediately crowded almost out of his seat. It doesn't matter that he snarls and snaps his jaws at him, the Minotaur just looks at him and snorts because like...what's he gonna do? That bull could throw him head first through a window and not break a sweat.
It sucks to have to just relent, but he does. Which also means he's as close to Rosso now as possible without flat-out sitting in his lap, pretty much forced to let Rosso plaster himself to his side under his arm just so there's room.]
[Rosso is seriously about to yank on Adrian's sleeve and tell him not to pick a fight over a seat with a fucking minotaur of all things, but it seems like Adrian gets the message without him having to say anything. So. They sit. Rosso thinks to make small talk, can't figure out anything small to talk about, wonders how normal people socialize... maybe he'll point out the pooka over in the distance who's comically trying to reach the unfairly-tall counter and talk to the waitress.
Before he can try to bully someone else for being short, which he has no right to do in the first place, some other impatient-ass monster comes trotting over and practically forces Rosso out of his seat. They're a werebear, and a fucking massive one at that. When they sit down next to Rosso — no hostility at all, just someone wanting to wait as well — their entire weight winds up squishing him. It's clearly unintentional, yet he huffs aggressively anyway, having to practically pull his leg out from under them.
And, well.
He's small, but he cannot possibly sit in the space that's the size of one of his legs without being in someone's fucking lap. So.
He readjusts. And then readjusts again, because he's still uncomfortably close to this werebear. A few wiggles later, and he's simply... well. Sitting on Adrian's leg, now.
...
At least no one else can steal his seat now. Right? Right.
...
Flustered, he pulls the coat tighter around himself. Let's just not think about it! Surely not thinking about how he's the size of one of Adrian's fucking legs will get him through the night, right? Right. Surely the waitresses will call them to a table soon and they don't have to do this for long.
[If that Werebear hadn't just innocently been taking a seat without realizing how much space they were taking up, and instead were trying to square up with Rosso like that Minotaur had with him, Adrian would have definitely said something. Or maybe snarled at them, too, to try and re-establish some sort of dominance here. Instead, the two of them are getting knocked around like pingpong balls, and honestly at this point Adrian has half a mind to just stand up to wait. He doesn't mind standing, and it means that Rosso will have an actual seat again.
Well. Before Adrian can actually do this, he feels Rosso shifting next to him. He's even in the process of opening his mouth to make the suggestion when he feels him wiggle even more, then he feels a weight against him, and-
...
He's sitting straight-backed on the bench now with Rosso halfway sitting in his lap. Which is...fine. It means that he has somewhere to sit, at least, but it also means that Adrian is hyper aware of just how small he is, my god. It's not like he hasn't been made aware of this fact before, but this is...different, somehow. Because, yeah, he's the size of one of his legs and that is kindof sobering. And now he doesn't know what to do with his arms, other than keep one of them sort of awkwardly loose at Rosso's side while the other is pinned against him thanks to that Minotaur's fat ass.
And no, they do not get called quickly. The place is busy, and they were hardly the first ones to sit down to wait, leaving Adrian buzzing internally and wishing very much that he'd stood while he had the chance. He could have gone outside if it meant not having to suss out this, because Rosso is still wearing that damn outfit, and his legs are bare against Adrian's in places and this is just all too much, okay. He's too fucking bi for this.
[It'll only get worse before it gets better! Rosso's just going to... lean back against Adrian... no big deal. No big deal except his nerves are on fire and his face is burning, and there's some very giggly faerie girl ahead who thinks this is just so cute apparently. God he hates gossips—
He tries not to wiggle further. Sighs. Fidgets with the ends of Adrian's sleeves while his hands are still fully cloaked by them, bites his lip, tries so very hard not to think. Somehow he avoids burying his face in his hands and remaining somewhat-presentable, though the giggling from across the way doesn't stop until he shoots a glare so deadly at the perpetrator that her life must flash before her eyes.
It feels like hours before they're called to a table. Really, it's only fifteen minutes. Fifteen of the longest fucking minutes of Rosso's life, but still.
He slides off of Adrian's lap (quite literally) and avoids making eye contact while they're ushered to the far back of the restaurant, finally, and only when they reach the booth does he bother to shrug off Adrian's jacket and hand it back to him. They have the heater cranked up in here, and it's way too hot just in general with how fucking flustered Rosso still is, not to mention the over-crowded waiting area since folks didn't want to wait outside in the cold. Rosso can't blame them, but.
Anyway. He makes himself comfortable on the opposite side of the booth and nukes all thoughts from his head by practically chugging the water they're given when they sit down. His excuse, mentally, is merfolk reasons. Obviously he's going to chug the water because he hasn't had it in a bit. It's totally not to keep him from saying something dumb while he looks over the menu.
...]
Why do they name their menu items like this?
[First sushi restaurant experience: Finding out that some of the rolls have funny names. "69 Roll" has to be a winner.]
[Yeah, join the club, Rosso. To Adrian it feels even longer, because the entire time he feels like he can't move or even breathe lest he cause Problems here. And the weirdest part is he doesn't...mind? Really?? But he doesn't know what's going through Rosso's head right now, and thus: it's awkward. More awkward than it needs to be, especially with that bitch giggling up a storm over there.
God. Why is everything difficult.
They're eventually freed from a prison of their own making when they're called to a table, and what a relief it is. Adrian can't help but bluster a sigh as they stand, lifting a clawed (clammy) hand to rub the back of his neck as he pads his way after Rosso. His stupid crocs squeak on the floor as he walks, it's all very silly.
It's a relief to finally sit down and get back to something he can deal with, like ordering from a menu. He doesn't drink his own water yet, but that's...for a reason, and that reason is he has no lips. So he has to be ready before he drinks that glass, because he will likely down it all at once by just dumping it into his jaws. As one does.
He peers at the menu as Rosso says that, and he...snorts, because of course.]
They prolly think it's funny.
[Shut up asshole you laughed]
Wouldn't'a expected a fancy place like this to have a sense of humor.
[Maybe if he'd caused Problems these two would finally kiss but no, no Problems were caused and therefore no one's kissing or spilling their heart out or having to leave early to deal with said Problems.
Instead, they're simply gawking at a sushi menu and giggling to themselves like children about funny names. These two are very mature and will not be taking criticism at this time.]
They've got the wait staff in full fucking suits, so nah, I wouldn't have either.
[Y'all realise this is normal for these sorts of restaurants, right, y'all know this is a thing? No?]
I know I told you I was payin', but get whatever the fuck you want, in case that wasn't clear. [Even though the pricetags are, uh, ridiculous.] Might as well eat like we're fucking royalty for once.
[Sorry Rosso, Adrian is apparently going to play the very long game of equally stupid and hard to get. Maybe that makes him more desirable, or something. But you totally wouldn't want to kiss him while he's a crocodile anyway, look at him he's all gross and...clammy.
Despite Rosso assuring him he can order whatever he wants, he will definitely be trying to stay conservative with his choices here. There's no need for him to buy a $50 plate of sushi that will barely fill him up even a little. Maybe there will be some kind of middle ground...
Ah, that's what he was looking for. He's found the takoyaki on the appetizer menu, he's definitely ordering that. It's not like, wildly expensive either, so nice.]
You had takoyaki before? We can share this.
[Pointing a claw at the six piece appetizer, leaving three for each of them.]
[Don't tell Rosso what he does and does not want to kiss, Adrian may be a crocodile but that doesn't get rid of the stupid fucking crush, he'll kiss a crocodile he doesn't even care—]
Takowhaty? [rosso pls] Never had it, but that's fine.
[Sure, they'll share the takowhaty. He gets the sense that Adrian likes that dish, so why not? They're out here to try new things anyway.
Now, here's the part where Rosso gets excited — there's spicy sushi. He has no idea what makes spicy tuna spicy, because by default tunas are just... funny big fish, nothing spicy about them. Spicy salmon, too. And rolls with jalapeños in them? Not to mention some of them are complimented by sweet counterparts — mangoes and cream cheese and oranges — and Rosso's honestly having decision paralysis.
What the hell does he get other than every spicy thing on the menu? And what the fuck is masago? Help??
Eventually, he just. Puts the menu down. And marks off a couple things on the paper ordering menu that he wants to try. Not a ridiculous amount, of course, but enough to fill him up. Probably. And he marks off the takoyaki while he's at it, then slides the pencil and paper over to Adrian.]
Your turn.
[Oh and you know what he's going to have sake too, that's a whole thing, they can just get a bottle—]
[Without missing a beat, without even looking up from the menu:]
Octopus balls.
[That's all the context you're getting, have fun.
Adrian has been staring at the menu for a while and is equally unsure what he wants, really. He's discovered that he quite likes fish, a marvel since he couldn't eat meat back home, and he has to wonder if it's like. A cat thing. Or is it a him thing. He's not sure, he lived in a desert as a child they didn't have fresh fish. It's actually surprising he hasn't come across sushi yet but again, expensive. Expensive as hell for just being fish they cut up and serve you raw.
He goes with a few various rolls himself, not all spicy but at least one of them has spicy mayo. He purposefully avoids any of the ones that seem to err on the side of sweet, though. He can't envision himself liking that too much as a combo with fish. It's not a whole lot between them, but having seen those prices...
He may just be forcing Rosso to let him pay for his half because my god.]
Man. Why the hell is this all so expensive when it ain't even cooked? I don't get it.
[Rosso declares this, loudly, with his whole chest. For the entire restaurant to hear. Luckily for them, this place is big enough that Rosso's ever-loud voice only carries a few tables down, and no one actually has much of a reaction to it, absorbed in their own conversations as they are.
The latter comment, well... it's a great question. Rosso knows enough about cuisine to venture a guess, though.]
You ever had steak tartare? It's just raw, minced beef and seasoning. Usually they put a raw egg on top of it, too. Shit goes for big bucks — it's under that "fancy food" umbrella. This's probably the same phenomenon. Back home, we got a similar thing called yookhwe. Still got the raw egg, but we make it with pears, a soy dressing, and sesame seeds, so it's sweeter.
[And expensive! Let's not forget that part. At least this is the part of the conversation the waitress is getting when she comes by to grab their order and depart, and not Rosso shouting about the potential for octopi to have nuts.]
[For possibly the first time since they got here, Adrian smirks. Again he snorts, but this time his laugh is more deliberate.
Is he going to tell him?
...no actually, he doesn't think he will.]
You don't think so? Wait'll you put one in your mouth, you'll see.
[Well at least THAT half of the conversation isn't what their poor waitress walked up on. Instead they're discussing weirdly expensive dishes, the idea of which just makes Adrian all itchy.]
I'd sooner eat food that's cheap and tastes good any day. The best tastin' food is ugly as hell anyway. If it looks too nice that's when I start getting wary.
[Curry, stew, all of Adrian's favorite things...they look like slop. That's the point.]
[These two conversations will now fuse into one, because—]
Jagi, octopi do not have balls! [inside voice pls we are begging] You'd fuckin' see them when they swim if they did! I'm not sticking expensive-ass raw nuts into my mouth, [of the cephalopod variety anyway] that's fuckin' gross. You're gonna have to try harder to convince me.
[so
this discussion could be easily solved if Rosso had read what takoyaki actually was on the menu
but he did not. so.]
I draw the line at non-existent octopus testicles. Try again.
[Whoops, here comes their waitress with that sake Rosso wanted, and some... really bizarre flat cups? Why are they so small? Whatever. He nods appreciatively at her, offering a thin, forced smile to be polite, and the second she's gone again?]
—I'm adventurous, but you're fucking lying through your teeth, cause octopi don't have nuts. End of fucking story. Your takowhatsits are probably other octopus parts.
[Anyway, Rosso's not waiting on the sake. He pours his portion of the bottle into his emptied water glass from earlier and takes a swig. We don't do that slow sipping thing here and by the El that's strong—]
cw: nsfw, this is just gonna be balls talk I GUESS
[Adrian isn't going to keep arguing, mostly because he knows that when the Takoyaki does come by and he sees how Adrian is very much enjoying it, he'll have a hard time resisting trying some too. He doesn't have to know that they are, indeed, just various octopus parts and not actual balls.
I mean, they're balls. But not, you know.
He has no eyebrows with which to emote, but that doesn't stop him from looking mildly surprised as he watches Rosso just pour himself a glass of the sake he ordered, but...unfortunately for both of them, Adrian doesn't know what sake is and therefore isn't prepared for how strong it's going to be.
He's ONLY spared by the fact he didn't drink his water yet, which means he's forced to use the little cups. A good thing too, because that stuff could strip paint he's pretty sure.]
You know people eat animal testicles all the time, right? It's not an unusual thing.
just cw the whole fucking thread for these two idiots
Yeah, 'course I know that much, [he responds, a little calmer now, with a little more of that inside voice he's usually lacking,] just doesn't sound that appealing to me. If I wanted balls in my mouth I'd just go get in bed with someone.
[And here is where he takes the largest sip of sake, not caring how much it burns, because holy shit he sounds like Ventus and holy shit he said that out loud. It's not like he knows what he's fucking doing in regard to that anyway, so he very quickly backtracks and tries to pretend he didn't just blurt that out.]
Sort of in the same way raw red meat with a whole-ass egg on top isn't appealing to me either. Just sounds fuckin' gross overall.
Well duh. Raw meat like that does sound nasty. But when did I ever say it was raw?
[And with impeccable timing, the waitress brings out their appetizer: six perfectly formed takoyaki balls, each one very clearly cooked dough with takoyaki sauce, mayonnaise, bonito, and seaweed for garnish. It makes Adrian wish he were a Manticore again, because he'd just start eating them now and not worry about if they burnt his tongue or not. He figures he ought to be a little more careful as a Mer, though...
So he'll pick up his set of chopsticks (which he ALSO knows how to use now thanks to how many damn times he's gotten ramen in the past) to pluck one from the plate, holding it aloft so he can blow on it and bring it down from internal lava temperature a bit.]
[Ah... when did that happen? Rosso mixed their two conversations to his detriment, it seems. And Adrian, of course, looks smug as hell about it.
Rosso kicks Adrian's shin under the table. Take that. Except it's not really a kick, it's more of a playful nudge, but he'll look angry about it anyway.
And here's the thing. Rosso... does not know how to use chopsticks, although he reaches for his anyway and unsubtly tries to mimic how Adrian's holding his. He's pretty sure he's got it after a minute. Pretty sure.]
No, fuck you, I'm tryin' it.
[If Adrian's going to goad him, Rosso's trying the fucking food! Fuck you!!
...
Except chopsticks and Rosso are not friends, because he tries to grab the little dough ball and it falls back into its slot on the tray without making it barely a half-inch above it. He tries again with similar results and then, frustrated, simply jabs both chopsticks into the food. Only then does the takoyaki stay long enough for Rosso to plop it right into his mouth.
[The kick does nothing but make Adrian grin even wider, his shit eatery knowing no bounds, despite his face being what it is right now. He rests an arm across the table as he watches, bemused, while Rosso struggles with his chopsticks. He could help him, but how is he ever supposed to learn that way?
...well not at all apparently, since he just ends up stabbing the takoyaki instead. It works, he guesses, but he'd better not let anyone else here seeing him eating them like that.]
What'd I tell ya? Dont knock octopus balls until you've tried octopus balls.
Shut up. They're shaped like balls but they ain't fuckin' balls.
[Rosso is insistent, okay, there are no such thing as octopus balls in this essay he will—
And clearly there's nothing wrong with how he's using the chopsticks if it's working as intended. The food is on the stick. The food is going into his mouth. Rosso has never been wrong in his life, who cares how he's eating? Who cares if people are looking over at them from other tables and wondering what's wrong with him?
Imagine looking over and seeing someone dressed so fancy at this nice-ass restaurant with food so expensive that the average man pales just glancing at the prices, thinking that he's normal and wealthy like everyone else here, and then he pours all of the sake into his glass and chugs it and starts shanking takoyaki with sticks. What do you even say to that? Who's gonna tell him no?
One absolutely not-sip of sake later, Rosso's plopping another takoyaki into his mouth via the sheer power of violence, which finishes off his portion of the appetizer.]
[Sure, sure, it's working as intended alright. It's absolutely hysterical for Adrian to watch, especially since he struggled the exact same way. Hell, he had to just eat shit with his face in a bowl half the time anyway because he couldn't figure out how to eat with a muzzle. As a crocodile, he doesn't chew so much as he just swallows things whole, but that doesn't mean he can't still taste it and use his chopsticks like a normal person. It's a little tricky with webbed fingers, but he's pretty sure even the chopstick snobs out there would forgive him for that much.
He huffs a laugh as he watches Rosso's antics, polishing off his takoyaki with a much more reasonable amount of sake following it. Also because he kindof has to just pour the entire cup into his mouth at once, so. Let's not pour a whole glass worth in there at once, maybe.]
God, you're so dumb.
[Said with all of the fondness one might say "God, I love you"]
[Ew. Fondness. Something in that tone makes Rosso's heart thud in his chest, even though his words are clearly an insult. A playful, fond insult. Ugh ugh ugh ugh— why didn't he just say it was a date?
He sets his chopsticks down against the edge of the tray after licking them clean like an animal.]
Fuck's that for? [A beat, then:] Only thing you got a leg up on me about is using chopsticks.
[And remembering to sip sake, let's not forget about the part where Adrian knows how to SIP.
It's not long until the actual meal arrives, though — colourfully-arranged rolls, a heap of pickled ginger the size of a baseball, and a not-so-generous amount of wasabi placed before them on a serving dish shaped like a Viking vessel. It's cute. And probably a pain in the ass to wash. Several flowers adorn the display, questionably-edible, and Rosso picks at them while the server explains what each roll is.
Honestly, he doesn't listen. It's food. Food which he shanks, again, as soon as the employee leaves. Somehow, that particular slice of the roll doesn't immediately crumble, but, uh, call it dumb luck. The others are liable to fall apart if they keep being brutalized.]
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no subject
God. He's tiny.]
...this way, idiot.
[Stop walking in the wrong direction and let's go.
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the walk is uneventful. Almost boring, even, but perhaps he should be grateful considering how busy the city is at most other times.
Naturally, though, new restaurants mean it's a hotspot for people. The line isn't out the door, but a lot of those who are being made to wait for a table are sitting outside and braving the cold — monsters that can, anyway. There's a naga curled up in the far corner of the waiting area, bundled up, and Rosso feels sort of bad for them. Imagine contending with this shitty weather while being a snake.
Since they'll be waiting a bit, Rosso makes himself comfortable in the corner, dragging Adrian along with him. Even from the waiting area, the entire restaurant smells divine — there's a light scent of lemon and ginger wafting in the air, mixing in with whatever incense they have burning at the front. An indoor fountain, small but impossible to miss, sparkles in the orange light. Distant, soft music plays over the radio in the background of conversations held.
Rosso swears he sees a fancy, paper chandelier up ahead in the main dining area.
"Boujee" indeed. It's a miracle the windows aren't made of stained-glass.]
no subject
He allows himself to be dragged along, quiet mostly because he's still marveling at the fanciness of the place, and also feeling horrendously underdressed. Like, holy shit. But at least they're far from the only monsters here, so that's something he guesses. Even if he's made painfully aware of his size when they're sitting down waiting, since both Rosso and the others waiting around him are just...so much smaller than he is.]
Dude. This place is a step above "boujee", don'tcha think?
[Adrian mutters to him out of the corner of his mouth.]
no subject
So. Sitting here... not-snuggling it is.]
Ain't like I ever walked into it. Just looked in the windows and saw it was fancy.
[Do not worry about Rosso's wallet, he's figured out how to save money real good, okay. Maybe it's a little out of his price point but it'll be fine, it's not like he can't just work extra, or pick up a shift at another place. Hell, he could work here, even. He just likes Sparkling's place too much to leave.]
I told you not to worry about it, so don't. Just chill out and have fun for once in your life.
[He's gonna
casually
lay his head against Adrian's shoulder.
You know. Because it's not a date.]
no subject
At least he's not a Manticore right now. A crocodile can be as stoic and stone-faced as it damn well pleases, but a lion? He'd be flicking his tail and purring against his will, otherwise. A feat, given that lions and tigers don't even purr.
Anyway. Here they sit and wait. Adrian stays as still as he can, at least until a Minotaur of all things chooses to take what very little space there is on the long bench beside him. Minotaurs, as is their wont, are fucking huge, meaning that Adrian is immediately crowded almost out of his seat. It doesn't matter that he snarls and snaps his jaws at him, the Minotaur just looks at him and snorts because like...what's he gonna do? That bull could throw him head first through a window and not break a sweat.
It sucks to have to just relent, but he does. Which also means he's as close to Rosso now as possible without flat-out sitting in his lap, pretty much forced to let Rosso plaster himself to his side under his arm just so there's room.]
no subject
Before he can try to bully someone else for being short, which he has no right to do in the first place, some other impatient-ass monster comes trotting over and practically forces Rosso out of his seat. They're a werebear, and a fucking massive one at that. When they sit down next to Rosso — no hostility at all, just someone wanting to wait as well — their entire weight winds up squishing him. It's clearly unintentional, yet he huffs aggressively anyway, having to practically pull his leg out from under them.
And, well.
He's small, but he cannot possibly sit in the space that's the size of one of his legs without being in someone's fucking lap. So.
He readjusts. And then readjusts again, because he's still uncomfortably close to this werebear. A few wiggles later, and he's simply... well. Sitting on Adrian's leg, now.
...
At least no one else can steal his seat now. Right? Right.
...
Flustered, he pulls the coat tighter around himself. Let's just not think about it! Surely not thinking about how he's the size of one of Adrian's fucking legs will get him through the night, right? Right. Surely the waitresses will call them to a table soon and they don't have to do this for long.
Right?]
no subject
Well. Before Adrian can actually do this, he feels Rosso shifting next to him. He's even in the process of opening his mouth to make the suggestion when he feels him wiggle even more, then he feels a weight against him, and-
...
He's sitting straight-backed on the bench now with Rosso halfway sitting in his lap. Which is...fine. It means that he has somewhere to sit, at least, but it also means that Adrian is hyper aware of just how small he is, my god. It's not like he hasn't been made aware of this fact before, but this is...different, somehow. Because, yeah, he's the size of one of his legs and that is kindof sobering. And now he doesn't know what to do with his arms, other than keep one of them sort of awkwardly loose at Rosso's side while the other is pinned against him thanks to that Minotaur's fat ass.
And no, they do not get called quickly. The place is busy, and they were hardly the first ones to sit down to wait, leaving Adrian buzzing internally and wishing very much that he'd stood while he had the chance. He could have gone outside if it meant not having to suss out this, because Rosso is still wearing that damn outfit, and his legs are bare against Adrian's in places and this is just all too much, okay. He's too fucking bi for this.
Where is their damn waitress.]
no subject
He tries not to wiggle further. Sighs. Fidgets with the ends of Adrian's sleeves while his hands are still fully cloaked by them, bites his lip, tries so very hard not to think. Somehow he avoids burying his face in his hands and remaining somewhat-presentable, though the giggling from across the way doesn't stop until he shoots a glare so deadly at the perpetrator that her life must flash before her eyes.
It feels like hours before they're called to a table. Really, it's only fifteen minutes. Fifteen of the longest fucking minutes of Rosso's life, but still.
He slides off of Adrian's lap (quite literally) and avoids making eye contact while they're ushered to the far back of the restaurant, finally, and only when they reach the booth does he bother to shrug off Adrian's jacket and hand it back to him. They have the heater cranked up in here, and it's way too hot just in general with how fucking flustered Rosso still is, not to mention the over-crowded waiting area since folks didn't want to wait outside in the cold. Rosso can't blame them, but.
Anyway. He makes himself comfortable on the opposite side of the booth and nukes all thoughts from his head by practically chugging the water they're given when they sit down. His excuse, mentally, is merfolk reasons. Obviously he's going to chug the water because he hasn't had it in a bit. It's totally not to keep him from saying something dumb while he looks over the menu.
...]
Why do they name their menu items like this?
[First sushi restaurant experience: Finding out that some of the rolls have funny names. "69 Roll" has to be a winner.]
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God. Why is everything difficult.
They're eventually freed from a prison of their own making when they're called to a table, and what a relief it is. Adrian can't help but bluster a sigh as they stand, lifting a clawed (clammy) hand to rub the back of his neck as he pads his way after Rosso. His stupid crocs squeak on the floor as he walks, it's all very silly.
It's a relief to finally sit down and get back to something he can deal with, like ordering from a menu. He doesn't drink his own water yet, but that's...for a reason, and that reason is he has no lips. So he has to be ready before he drinks that glass, because he will likely down it all at once by just dumping it into his jaws. As one does.
He peers at the menu as Rosso says that, and he...snorts, because of course.]
They prolly think it's funny.
[Shut up asshole you laughed]
Wouldn't'a expected a fancy place like this to have a sense of humor.
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Instead, they're simply gawking at a sushi menu and giggling to themselves like children about funny names. These two are very mature and will not be taking criticism at this time.]
They've got the wait staff in full fucking suits, so nah, I wouldn't have either.
[Y'all realise this is normal for these sorts of restaurants, right, y'all know this is a thing? No?]
I know I told you I was payin', but get whatever the fuck you want, in case that wasn't clear. [Even though the pricetags are, uh, ridiculous.] Might as well eat like we're fucking royalty for once.
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Despite Rosso assuring him he can order whatever he wants, he will definitely be trying to stay conservative with his choices here. There's no need for him to buy a $50 plate of sushi that will barely fill him up even a little. Maybe there will be some kind of middle ground...
Ah, that's what he was looking for. He's found the takoyaki on the appetizer menu, he's definitely ordering that. It's not like, wildly expensive either, so nice.]
You had takoyaki before? We can share this.
[Pointing a claw at the six piece appetizer, leaving three for each of them.]
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Takowhaty? [rosso pls] Never had it, but that's fine.
[Sure, they'll share the takowhaty. He gets the sense that Adrian likes that dish, so why not? They're out here to try new things anyway.
Now, here's the part where Rosso gets excited — there's spicy sushi. He has no idea what makes spicy tuna spicy, because by default tunas are just... funny big fish, nothing spicy about them. Spicy salmon, too. And rolls with jalapeños in them? Not to mention some of them are complimented by sweet counterparts — mangoes and cream cheese and oranges — and Rosso's honestly having decision paralysis.
What the hell does he get other than every spicy thing on the menu? And what the fuck is masago? Help??
Eventually, he just. Puts the menu down. And marks off a couple things on the paper ordering menu that he wants to try. Not a ridiculous amount, of course, but enough to fill him up. Probably. And he marks off the takoyaki while he's at it, then slides the pencil and paper over to Adrian.]
Your turn.
[Oh and you know what he's going to have sake too, that's a whole thing, they can just get a bottle—]
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Octopus balls.
[That's all the context you're getting, have fun.
Adrian has been staring at the menu for a while and is equally unsure what he wants, really. He's discovered that he quite likes fish, a marvel since he couldn't eat meat back home, and he has to wonder if it's like. A cat thing. Or is it a him thing. He's not sure, he lived in a desert as a child they didn't have fresh fish. It's actually surprising he hasn't come across sushi yet but again, expensive. Expensive as hell for just being fish they cut up and serve you raw.
He goes with a few various rolls himself, not all spicy but at least one of them has spicy mayo. He purposefully avoids any of the ones that seem to err on the side of sweet, though. He can't envision himself liking that too much as a combo with fish. It's not a whole lot between them, but having seen those prices...
He may just be forcing Rosso to let him pay for his half because my god.]
Man. Why the hell is this all so expensive when it ain't even cooked? I don't get it.
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[Rosso declares this, loudly, with his whole chest. For the entire restaurant to hear. Luckily for them, this place is big enough that Rosso's ever-loud voice only carries a few tables down, and no one actually has much of a reaction to it, absorbed in their own conversations as they are.
The latter comment, well... it's a great question. Rosso knows enough about cuisine to venture a guess, though.]
You ever had steak tartare? It's just raw, minced beef and seasoning. Usually they put a raw egg on top of it, too. Shit goes for big bucks — it's under that "fancy food" umbrella. This's probably the same phenomenon. Back home, we got a similar thing called yookhwe. Still got the raw egg, but we make it with pears, a soy dressing, and sesame seeds, so it's sweeter.
[And expensive! Let's not forget that part. At least this is the part of the conversation the waitress is getting when she comes by to grab their order and depart, and not Rosso shouting about the potential for octopi to have nuts.]
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Is he going to tell him?
...no actually, he doesn't think he will.]
You don't think so? Wait'll you put one in your mouth, you'll see.
[Well at least THAT half of the conversation isn't what their poor waitress walked up on. Instead they're discussing weirdly expensive dishes, the idea of which just makes Adrian all itchy.]
I'd sooner eat food that's cheap and tastes good any day. The best tastin' food is ugly as hell anyway. If it looks too nice that's when I start getting wary.
[Curry, stew, all of Adrian's favorite things...they look like slop. That's the point.]
CW NSFW?????? i'm crying
Jagi, octopi do not have balls! [inside voice pls we are begging] You'd fuckin' see them when they swim if they did! I'm not sticking expensive-ass raw nuts into my mouth, [
of the cephalopod variety anyway] that's fuckin' gross. You're gonna have to try harder to convince me.[so
this discussion could be easily solved if Rosso had read what takoyaki actually was on the menu
but he did not. so.]
I draw the line at non-existent octopus testicles. Try again.
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[Answer him THAT]
You'll eat raw ass fish but you won't try octopus balls. An' here I thought you were all adventurous and shit.
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[Whoops, here comes their waitress with that sake Rosso wanted, and some... really bizarre flat cups? Why are they so small? Whatever. He nods appreciatively at her, offering a thin, forced smile to be polite, and the second she's gone again?]
—I'm adventurous, but you're fucking lying through your teeth, cause octopi don't have nuts. End of fucking story. Your takowhatsits are probably other octopus parts.
[Anyway, Rosso's not waiting on the sake. He pours his portion of the bottle into his emptied water glass from earlier and takes a swig. We don't do that slow sipping thing here and by the El that's strong—]
cw: nsfw, this is just gonna be balls talk I GUESS
[Adrian isn't going to keep arguing, mostly because he knows that when the Takoyaki does come by and he sees how Adrian is very much enjoying it, he'll have a hard time resisting trying some too. He doesn't have to know that they are, indeed, just various octopus parts and not actual balls.
I mean, they're balls. But not, you know.
He has no eyebrows with which to emote, but that doesn't stop him from looking mildly surprised as he watches Rosso just pour himself a glass of the sake he ordered, but...unfortunately for both of them, Adrian doesn't know what sake is and therefore isn't prepared for how strong it's going to be.
He's ONLY spared by the fact he didn't drink his water yet, which means he's forced to use the little cups. A good thing too, because that stuff could strip paint he's pretty sure.]
You know people eat animal testicles all the time, right? It's not an unusual thing.
just cw the whole fucking thread for these two idiots
[And here is where he takes the largest sip of sake, not caring how much it burns, because holy shit he sounds like Ventus and holy shit he said that out loud. It's not like he knows what he's fucking doing in regard to that anyway, so he very quickly backtracks and tries to pretend he didn't just blurt that out.]
Sort of in the same way raw red meat with a whole-ass egg on top isn't appealing to me either. Just sounds fuckin' gross overall.
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[And with impeccable timing, the waitress brings out their appetizer: six perfectly formed takoyaki balls, each one very clearly cooked dough with takoyaki sauce, mayonnaise, bonito, and seaweed for garnish. It makes Adrian wish he were a Manticore again, because he'd just start eating them now and not worry about if they burnt his tongue or not. He figures he ought to be a little more careful as a Mer, though...
So he'll pick up his set of chopsticks (which he ALSO knows how to use now thanks to how many damn times he's gotten ramen in the past) to pluck one from the plate, holding it aloft so he can blow on it and bring it down from internal lava temperature a bit.]
Speak of the devil. You still ain't gonna try it?
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Rosso kicks Adrian's shin under the table. Take that. Except it's not really a kick, it's more of a playful nudge, but he'll look angry about it anyway.
And here's the thing. Rosso... does not know how to use chopsticks, although he reaches for his anyway and unsubtly tries to mimic how Adrian's holding his. He's pretty sure he's got it after a minute. Pretty sure.]
No, fuck you, I'm tryin' it.
[If Adrian's going to goad him, Rosso's trying the fucking food! Fuck you!!
...
Except chopsticks and Rosso are not friends, because he tries to grab the little dough ball and it falls back into its slot on the tray without making it barely a half-inch above it. He tries again with similar results and then, frustrated, simply jabs both chopsticks into the food. Only then does the takoyaki stay long enough for Rosso to plop it right into his mouth.
One contemplative moment later...]
...huh. That's good.
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...well not at all apparently, since he just ends up stabbing the takoyaki instead. It works, he guesses, but he'd better not let anyone else here seeing him eating them like that.]
What'd I tell ya? Dont knock octopus balls until you've tried octopus balls.
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[Rosso is insistent, okay, there are no such thing as octopus balls in this essay he will—
And clearly there's nothing wrong with how he's using the chopsticks if it's working as intended. The food is on the stick. The food is going into his mouth. Rosso has never been wrong in his life, who cares how he's eating? Who cares if people are looking over at them from other tables and wondering what's wrong with him?
Imagine looking over and seeing someone dressed so fancy at this nice-ass restaurant with food so expensive that the average man pales just glancing at the prices, thinking that he's normal and wealthy like everyone else here, and then he pours all of the sake into his glass and chugs it and starts shanking takoyaki with sticks. What do you even say to that? Who's gonna tell him no?
One absolutely not-sip of sake later, Rosso's plopping another takoyaki into his mouth via the sheer power of violence, which finishes off his portion of the appetizer.]
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He huffs a laugh as he watches Rosso's antics, polishing off his takoyaki with a much more reasonable amount of sake following it. Also because he kindof has to just pour the entire cup into his mouth at once, so. Let's not pour a whole glass worth in there at once, maybe.]
God, you're so dumb.
[Said with all of the fondness one might say "God, I love you"]
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He sets his chopsticks down against the edge of the tray after licking them clean like an animal.]
Fuck's that for? [A beat, then:] Only thing you got a leg up on me about is using chopsticks.
[And remembering to sip sake, let's not forget about the part where Adrian knows how to SIP.
It's not long until the actual meal arrives, though — colourfully-arranged rolls, a heap of pickled ginger the size of a baseball, and a not-so-generous amount of wasabi placed before them on a serving dish shaped like a Viking vessel. It's cute. And probably a pain in the ass to wash. Several flowers adorn the display, questionably-edible, and Rosso picks at them while the server explains what each roll is.
Honestly, he doesn't listen. It's food. Food which he shanks, again, as soon as the employee leaves. Somehow, that particular slice of the roll doesn't immediately crumble, but, uh, call it dumb luck. The others are liable to fall apart if they keep being brutalized.]
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im sorry this is probably meant to be encouraging, or something, but adrian is stupid-
Rosso's not encouraged but he sure is gay
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