[Oh good, being impervious to fire is a good thing when you live with Rosso, who despite having no fire magic currently is still a bit of a pyromaniac.]
Octopus balls did not change my life, you're just being fucking dramatic.
[What changed his life was the fact that they kindof kissed after that dinner, but the octopus balls were a precursor to it so maybe........ if you really think about it...................
Marshmallows cook fucking fast, so as they're having this discussion, Rosso is already attempting to make one (1) s'more. This thing is going to be fucking molten when he bites into it, isn't it.]
[Adrian insists with a smirk, pulling his marshmallow skewer away just as it's in danger of catching flame. He has to blow on it to get it to stop smoldering, but it's like right on the edge of burnt. Toasted and molten lava on the inside.
Please do not be a doofus and burn your whole mouth, Rosso.]
My oldest sister, obviously. But she only won because she was taller than the rest of us.
[Adrian mutters as he grabs the graham crackers and chocolate with ease, maybe showing off a little because he has four hands to work with instead of two. Two hands can hold the crackers while his other two get everything stacked up onto it.]
[Fuck you if Rosso wants to be stupid you can't stop him! Also wow four arms is legally cheating, Rosso is doing all of this with one hand and the rod clutched between his hindpaws for added balance, thanks.
He's going to wait a minute for this to cool slightly.]
Ha. Us labrat kids never had anything like that, but I'm sure we would've fought if we got the chance to. I would've, anyway.
[Adrian knows the whole tale already, of how Rosso was so fiery and aggressive that they had to pair him with Lebio like an anxious cheetah gets paired with a dog to get him to calm down. Pre-Lebio, though, Rosso would've beaten a kid for food, if that were an issue at all.
Speaking of food, once the s'more has cooled enough to not cause his tongue to blister, Rosso takes the biggest bite out of it he can manage. ...and then his tail starts wagging. Oh! It's good!]
[Adrian has to imagine that lab subjects or no, their response would have been the same. They were still kids, after all.
But that fact isn't something he likes to think about much, just like how he doesn't think much about his lost family if he can help it. Instead, he focuses on watching for Rosso's reaction to the s'more as he eats it, waiting for him to take a bite before he follows suit. No need to worry about burning his tongue here, but he's maybe not setting a good example in just eating straight up scalding marshmallow goo.]
See? What'd I tell ya, s'good.
[Said as he pulls his s'more away, struggling to bite off the long string of marshmallow that seems hell bent on staying stuck to it.]
It's not like I didn't believe you, it's just not changing my fucking life.
[He says, while his tail continues to wag, and it's a good thing werewolves aren't allergic to chocolate because uh... Rosso's slurping melted chocolate off of his fingers and going to make another within seconds of scarfing down the first.
Meanwhile, Alisha is oblivious to the fact that there's food, and is Still going after Adrian's tail.]
...you don't think we can make these at home, do you? ["it's not changing my life" he said.]
Are you kiddin'? All you need is an open flame, and I think we got plenty'a them to work with.
[He demonstrates (read: shows off) by lifting up his skewer with a few more marshmallows on it and proceeding to breathe fire over it, torching the cluster all in one go.]
[Rosso has two (2) arms and zero (0) fire magic with which to make a s'more with, you bag of dicks! He has to make these one by one!]
Hope you know this is all you're gonna be doing around the house now, since you're gonna be a showoff about it.
[Rosso's about to continue that statement, something-something "s'mores slave", but there's the sound of a stick cracking somewhere off in the distance that his ears swivel toward. Hm.]
If you wanted me to make you another one, you coulda' just asked~
[Listen, Adrian knows he can't cook. The least he can do is be the guy to make the fire for cooking.
Though...if that's the case, they'll maybe want to look into fireproofing the treehouse...
Before he can tease Rosso any further, though, the distant sound catches Adrian's attention as well. He goes still for a moment, glancing over at the treeline before looking back to the fire again and flicking a piece of burnt marshmallow onto the flames.]
[He shouts, once Adrian has stated that there's a deer and it's nothing to worry about, but Rosso's loud shout does not, in fact, scare off whatever broke that stick. More sticks snap underfoot, and Rosso is hearing the rustling, but he's not paying attention. He's jabbing a half-bitten s'more at Adrian like he's accusing him of murder.]
I don't want you to make another one! [Rosso you literally just said you did—] I can make my own stupid marshmallow cookie-things!
[Adrian...hears it too, his ears swiveling in that direction. That's a bit strange...that kind of behavior doesn't quite seem right, for a deer of any kind. The second Rosso raised his voice, they'd be fucking gone.
Which means...whatever is out there isn't afraid of them. It's, at the very least, curious.
It's watching them.]
Fuck, I believe you- [Adrian reaches a paw out and just...plants the flat of his pawpad against Rosso's forehead to push him back a little, as if that won't make Rosso BITE him.] Shut up for a second. Do you hear that?
[Rosso is about to say something back to that, continue their stupid argument, and then Adrian's paw ends up in his face and yes he bites, but at least it's not hard enough to draw blood. Stupidly, he sits there with Adrian's finger between his teeth while the crunching of underbrush finally registers in his brain.
His eyes shift to the trees, scanning for anything that might be out there, and only when he sees a shadow shift does he stop biting his boyfriend and shoot to his hindpaws.
[The bite doesn't bother Adrian. Rosso bites all the time. He's more concerned abo-]
A what!?
[Adrian ends up dropping his marshmallow skewer in his own haste to stand, his fur standing up all along his shoulders and the back of his neck. A deer he could have dealt with, hunted down if need be, but, uh.
A bear is a bit of a different story, even if they're both monsters.]
Are you sure? It ain't like, a moose or somethin'?
No, [Rosso hisses, ears flattening against his head,] that's a fucking bear. Deer don't smell like that.
[Are. Are Ryslig bears worse, somehow? Rosso doesn't want to find out, nor does he really want to kill an innocent wild animal who probably just smelled food and wanted to come down for it. Nor does he want to be mauled. What do they tell you in all those camping guides, uh... to die? They tell you to die. Fuck.
As if confirming that it is not a deer, the shape of the bear becomes more apparent. It's one of those huge-ass grizzlies they warn you about in shitty nature documentaries, and it is giving a big sniff to the perimeter of the clearing they're in.
[When they aren't saying to die, they're saying to pretend to die, which...honestly, Adrian thinks that's kindof bullshit. Animals are smarter than people give them credit for, and they can likely smell if something's actually dead or not. So if they want to get you? They will fucking get you, no matter what. And now here they are, sitting ducks next to a campfire with food, and there's a grizzly bear within eyeshot of both of them.
It doesn't seem to have noticed them yet, but eventually it's going to. And Adrian can't promise it's going to just lumber off when it does.
Adrian says nothing. He does nothing. He doesn't even breathe. He just sits there, stock still, eyes locked on the bear. Any sudden movements could set it off...and maybe if they're lucky, it will just...happen to wander in the opposite direction.
Except, there's one problem. One teeny tiny, little, cat shaped god damn problem.
It's Alisha, and she is most certainly not aware of there being a bear nearby...and Adrian's tail has stopped moving for her.]
[Alisha is a stupid little gremlin cat, and she is extremely mad when Adrian stops moving his tail. WHY will you not PLAY WITH HER, she screams, as she frustratedly baps at the still tail and then gets to her paws and SCREAMS MORE.
The bear, of course, sees this little animal as a potential snack. Not that Alisha would be a very good one — she's made of magic rocks and would probably be spat out immediately — but still. This puts them in a situation.
The bear stalks closer, ears swivelling, and Rosso makes a split-second decision. A stupid one, but one nonetheless. He summons his scythe just in front of the bear to derail it for a moment, a single second while the blade hooks itself into the ground, surges forward, and grabs Alisha. Adrian is on his own, mostly because Rosso can't pick him up.
Then
then
Rosso scrambles his way up the nearest tree and puts her in there, perching on a high branch and motioning at Adrian to get up here. Just let the bear have the camp babe it's not worth it—]
[Thank you Alisha, if they die to being eaten by a bear, they'll know who to blame over it when they revive with the fog next month.
Rosso, as ever, is quick on his feet. He's summoned his scythe scarcely before Adrian really realizes what's going on, his head snapping over to see where it ended up. He's half expecting to look and just see a bisected bear in the woods, but that's the opposite of what's happened. Rosso has scooped Alisha and he's just...gone. Up that tree within a second, leaving Adrian by himself next to the campfire.
Meanwhile, the scythe plunging into the ground startled the bear. Not enough to make it run- wild animals in Ryslig, if they're predators, are built different- but instead, it rears back onto its hind legs and peers ahead.
It sees Adrian.]
Son of a-!
[Adrian kicks up sand as he moves, his tail arched high behind him and fluffed out several times its size as the bear falls to all fours again and charges, rushing in his direction just as he throws himself up the tree, faster than Rosso even thanks to being, well. A Cat Man. It's just in time to avoid getting his head boxed off, tbh.]
I thought the scythe would fucking scare it off...!
[HISSSSSS... go away bear! Nobody likes you!
The tree rattles as the bear collides with it, and that, friends, is how Rosso figures out that bears can climb trees. Oh god bears can climb trees. Why the fuck can bears climb trees?!]
HEY! Fuck off, you stupid bear!
[The bear does not relent. The bear continues to climb and Rosso looks to Adrian like "babe do something", as if he does not have a floating fucking scythe, as if he has not faced more dangerous things on Elrios, as if he's not the former fucking El Master of fucking Fire.
Defeated by bear. Their funeral will be a great one.]
[Literally either one of them could be doing something about this. Rosso has his scythe. Adrian can breathe fire. Yet he's perched up in this god damn tree like they have no other options, pinned against the trunk and watching as the bear scales it with alarming ease.
Bears, as it turns out, are very fast.
On reflex, Adrian hisses loudly- actually cat hisses at the bear- and raises his tail up at it in warning, the tip trembling as it curves back to expose the stinger inside. If the bear makes to swipe at them, he'd be able to stab it with his stinger and paralyze it for a while, at the very least. Adrian doubts his venom would kill it, it's a BEAR. Said bear obviously has no concept of avoiding a stinger being brandished at it, for it is a bear, but Adrian's hissing does put it off somewhat. It snarls, roaring back at him as is slides backwards down the tree a little bit. Then, as quickly as it came up...it drops back down to the forest floor, still up on its hind legs as if to say "you wanna fucking go".
...then, it proceeds to fall back to all fours, turning so it can bury its head into their bag of marshmallows.]
[Thank you, you're the real MVP Alisha, it's your fault they're in this mess in the first place. Adrian hopes you're proud of yourself!!]
What about us? We're the ones supposed to be havin' joy, not a stupid bear.
[Adrian huffs, but really there's nothing to be done. Even if they ran the bear off, their marshmallows are covered in bear slobber now...and also said bear is like tearing the bag open now, so it won't be long before either that bag is empty or each marshmallow is covered in a fine layer of sand and ash.
At least Adrian is used to being up in trees, so he isn't exactly uncomfortable. Just very put-out.]
So what fucking now, then? We live up here until it decides to leave?
There are more marshmallows at the store, and we're still alive. Got a whole night sky to look at and do gay shit under, so yeah, we stay up here until the bear fucks off.
[Alisha is very proud of herself. She's just a baby she don't know anything. She wanted to play. :3c]
You like trees. You live in one. You should be used to it.
[This is literally all Alisha's fault. Why do they have a cat again
It's kindof incredible that Rosso is being the voice of reason here. We love ourselves some character growth, all while Adrian glares down at that bear as if it murdered his whole family.
Adrian sighs though, his wings and the rest of his body slumping as he sits back on his branch, slapping a paw to his face and dragging it down slowly.]
Yeah, when it was my idea to get in it.
[Also Rosso what gay shit will yall be doing in the treetops pls explain]
We're god damn monsters, how is it not scared of us...
If it was a werebear, wouldn't it say somethin'? Or, like, have purple hair or some shit?
[You know how it goes, there are monsters of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and Adrian is more used to monsters being very...vibrant compared to the real animals of the woods. That, meanwhile, just looks like a plain old grizzly.]
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no subject
Octopus balls did not change my life, you're just being fucking dramatic.
[What changed his life was the fact that they kindof kissed after that dinner, but the octopus balls were a precursor to it so maybe........ if you really think about it...................
Marshmallows cook fucking fast, so as they're having this discussion, Rosso is already attempting to make one (1) s'more. This thing is going to be fucking molten when he bites into it, isn't it.]
Out of you and your siblings, who won?
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[Adrian insists with a smirk, pulling his marshmallow skewer away just as it's in danger of catching flame. He has to blow on it to get it to stop smoldering, but it's like right on the edge of burnt. Toasted and molten lava on the inside.
Please do not be a doofus and burn your whole mouth, Rosso.]
My oldest sister, obviously. But she only won because she was taller than the rest of us.
[Adrian mutters as he grabs the graham crackers and chocolate with ease, maybe showing off a little because he has four hands to work with instead of two. Two hands can hold the crackers while his other two get everything stacked up onto it.]
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He's going to wait a minute for this to cool slightly.]
Ha. Us labrat kids never had anything like that, but I'm sure we would've fought if we got the chance to. I would've, anyway.
[Adrian knows the whole tale already, of how Rosso was so fiery and aggressive that they had to pair him with Lebio like an anxious cheetah gets paired with a dog to get him to calm down. Pre-Lebio, though, Rosso would've beaten a kid for food, if that were an issue at all.
Speaking of food, once the s'more has cooled enough to not cause his tongue to blister, Rosso takes the biggest bite out of it he can manage. ...and then his tail starts wagging. Oh! It's good!]
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But that fact isn't something he likes to think about much, just like how he doesn't think much about his lost family if he can help it. Instead, he focuses on watching for Rosso's reaction to the s'more as he eats it, waiting for him to take a bite before he follows suit. No need to worry about burning his tongue here, but he's maybe not setting a good example in just eating straight up scalding marshmallow goo.]
See? What'd I tell ya, s'good.
[Said as he pulls his s'more away, struggling to bite off the long string of marshmallow that seems hell bent on staying stuck to it.]
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[He says, while his tail continues to wag, and it's a good thing werewolves aren't allergic to chocolate because uh... Rosso's slurping melted chocolate off of his fingers and going to make another within seconds of scarfing down the first.
Meanwhile, Alisha is oblivious to the fact that there's food, and is Still going after Adrian's tail.]
...you don't think we can make these at home, do you? ["it's not changing my life" he said.]
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[He demonstrates (read: shows off) by lifting up his skewer with a few more marshmallows on it and proceeding to breathe fire over it, torching the cluster all in one go.]
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[Rosso has two (2) arms and zero (0) fire magic with which to make a s'more with, you bag of dicks! He has to make these one by one!]
Hope you know this is all you're gonna be doing around the house now, since you're gonna be a showoff about it.
[Rosso's about to continue that statement, something-something "s'mores slave", but there's the sound of a stick cracking somewhere off in the distance that his ears swivel toward. Hm.]
no subject
[Listen, Adrian knows he can't cook. The least he can do is be the guy to make the fire for cooking.
Though...if that's the case, they'll maybe want to look into fireproofing the treehouse...
Before he can tease Rosso any further, though, the distant sound catches Adrian's attention as well. He goes still for a moment, glancing over at the treeline before looking back to the fire again and flicking a piece of burnt marshmallow onto the flames.]
Prob'ly deer out here.
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[He shouts, once Adrian has stated that there's a deer and it's nothing to worry about, but Rosso's loud shout does not, in fact, scare off whatever broke that stick. More sticks snap underfoot, and Rosso is hearing the rustling, but he's not paying attention. He's jabbing a half-bitten s'more at Adrian like he's accusing him of murder.]
I don't want you to make another one! [Rosso you literally just said you did—] I can make my own stupid marshmallow cookie-things!
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Which means...whatever is out there isn't afraid of them. It's, at the very least, curious.
It's watching them.]
Fuck, I believe you- [Adrian reaches a paw out and just...plants the flat of his pawpad against Rosso's forehead to push him back a little, as if that won't make Rosso BITE him.] Shut up for a second. Do you hear that?
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His eyes shift to the trees, scanning for anything that might be out there, and only when he sees a shadow shift does he stop biting his boyfriend and shoot to his hindpaws.
Um. Uh—]
Is that a fucking bear.
[It sure is shaped in a bear kinda way.]
no subject
A what!?
[Adrian ends up dropping his marshmallow skewer in his own haste to stand, his fur standing up all along his shoulders and the back of his neck. A deer he could have dealt with, hunted down if need be, but, uh.
A bear is a bit of a different story, even if they're both monsters.]
Are you sure? It ain't like, a moose or somethin'?
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[Are. Are Ryslig bears worse, somehow? Rosso doesn't want to find out, nor does he really want to kill an innocent wild animal who probably just smelled food and wanted to come down for it. Nor does he want to be mauled. What do they tell you in all those camping guides, uh... to die? They tell you to die. Fuck.
As if confirming that it is not a deer, the shape of the bear becomes more apparent. It's one of those huge-ass grizzlies they warn you about in shitty nature documentaries, and it is giving a big sniff to the perimeter of the clearing they're in.
Fuck. What do you do about a whole ass bear.]
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It doesn't seem to have noticed them yet, but eventually it's going to. And Adrian can't promise it's going to just lumber off when it does.
Adrian says nothing. He does nothing. He doesn't even breathe. He just sits there, stock still, eyes locked on the bear. Any sudden movements could set it off...and maybe if they're lucky, it will just...happen to wander in the opposite direction.
Except, there's one problem. One teeny tiny, little, cat shaped god damn problem.
It's Alisha, and she is most certainly not aware of there being a bear nearby...and Adrian's tail has stopped moving for her.]
no subject
The bear, of course, sees this little animal as a potential snack. Not that Alisha would be a very good one — she's made of magic rocks and would probably be spat out immediately — but still. This puts them in a situation.
The bear stalks closer, ears swivelling, and Rosso makes a split-second decision. A stupid one, but one nonetheless. He summons his scythe just in front of the bear to derail it for a moment, a single second while the blade hooks itself into the ground, surges forward, and grabs Alisha. Adrian is on his own, mostly because Rosso can't pick him up.
Then
then
Rosso scrambles his way up the nearest tree and puts her in there, perching on a high branch and motioning at Adrian to get up here. Just let the bear have the camp babe it's not worth it—]
no subject
Rosso, as ever, is quick on his feet. He's summoned his scythe scarcely before Adrian really realizes what's going on, his head snapping over to see where it ended up. He's half expecting to look and just see a bisected bear in the woods, but that's the opposite of what's happened. Rosso has scooped Alisha and he's just...gone. Up that tree within a second, leaving Adrian by himself next to the campfire.
Meanwhile, the scythe plunging into the ground startled the bear. Not enough to make it run- wild animals in Ryslig, if they're predators, are built different- but instead, it rears back onto its hind legs and peers ahead.
It sees Adrian.]
Son of a-!
[Adrian kicks up sand as he moves, his tail arched high behind him and fluffed out several times its size as the bear falls to all fours again and charges, rushing in his direction just as he throws himself up the tree, faster than Rosso even thanks to being, well. A Cat Man. It's just in time to avoid getting his head boxed off, tbh.]
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[HISSSSSS... go away bear! Nobody likes you!
The tree rattles as the bear collides with it, and that, friends, is how Rosso figures out that bears can climb trees. Oh god bears can climb trees. Why the fuck can bears climb trees?!]
HEY! Fuck off, you stupid bear!
[The bear does not relent. The bear continues to climb and Rosso looks to Adrian like "babe do something", as if he does not have a floating fucking scythe, as if he has not faced more dangerous things on Elrios, as if he's not the former fucking El Master of fucking Fire.
Defeated by bear. Their funeral will be a great one.]
no subject
Bears, as it turns out, are very fast.
On reflex, Adrian hisses loudly- actually cat hisses at the bear- and raises his tail up at it in warning, the tip trembling as it curves back to expose the stinger inside. If the bear makes to swipe at them, he'd be able to stab it with his stinger and paralyze it for a while, at the very least. Adrian doubts his venom would kill it, it's a BEAR. Said bear obviously has no concept of avoiding a stinger being brandished at it, for it is a bear, but Adrian's hissing does put it off somewhat. It snarls, roaring back at him as is slides backwards down the tree a little bit. Then, as quickly as it came up...it drops back down to the forest floor, still up on its hind legs as if to say "you wanna fucking go".
...then, it proceeds to fall back to all fours, turning so it can bury its head into their bag of marshmallows.]
...Fucking hell.
no subject
Just let it have the fucking marshmallows. It's a bear. It's never had joy in its life.
[Rosso, what the hell does that mean.]
Not like we don't live in the woods and can't make our own s'mores when I enslave you for your fire-breathing later.
[He... is not leaving the tree. He's hugging this branch like he'll die without it. Meanwhile, Alisha is standing on his back just watching like :D?]
no subject
What about us? We're the ones supposed to be havin' joy, not a stupid bear.
[Adrian huffs, but really there's nothing to be done. Even if they ran the bear off, their marshmallows are covered in bear slobber now...and also said bear is like tearing the bag open now, so it won't be long before either that bag is empty or each marshmallow is covered in a fine layer of sand and ash.
At least Adrian is used to being up in trees, so he isn't exactly uncomfortable. Just very put-out.]
So what fucking now, then? We live up here until it decides to leave?
no subject
[Alisha is very proud of herself. She's just a baby she don't know anything. She wanted to play. :3c]
You like trees. You live in one. You should be used to it.
[Rosso you ALSO live in a tree???]
no subject
It's kindof incredible that Rosso is being the voice of reason here. We love ourselves some character growth, all while Adrian glares down at that bear as if it murdered his whole family.
Adrian sighs though, his wings and the rest of his body slumping as he sits back on his branch, slapping a paw to his face and dragging it down slowly.]
Yeah, when it was my idea to get in it.
[Also Rosso what gay shit will yall be doing in the treetops pls explain]
We're god damn monsters, how is it not scared of us...
no subject
It's a bear that lives in this hellscape. It's probably seen all manner of things.
[...]
Could also be a werebear, actually. [no] Give me a rock, I'm gonna check.
[YOU'RE GONNA CHECK? WITH A ROCK?]
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[ROSSO]
If it was a werebear, wouldn't it say somethin'? Or, like, have purple hair or some shit?
[You know how it goes, there are monsters of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and Adrian is more used to monsters being very...vibrant compared to the real animals of the woods. That, meanwhile, just looks like a plain old grizzly.]
no subject
[Rosso scoots higher into the tree and reaches out to try and break off a stick. He'll just throw a stick.]
If it's an actual grizzly, it'll run off when I throw something at it. If it's a werebear, they'll cuss me out. Easy.
[NO ROSSO THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS—
but it's too late, for he has a small stick and he's throwing it and
because it's a small stick
it doesn't go very far, and sort of just floats to the ground. Fuck.]
Ugh. Need a bigger fucking stick...
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